Sexiquette endeavors to educate as well as entertain. We live in uncertain times, when the requirements of a true Gentleman are unclear. And so, we submit these simple guidelines.
- Have two signature cocktails (one for clear alcohol, one for dark). Make them classy, simple and strong.
- Never order a drink you don’t know how to prepare.
- Know the difference between a digestif and an aperitif. Do not order a cocktail out of season.
- Tonic and soda water are mixers. Gatorade, Red Bull and Tang are not.
- The main ingredient in a martini is, and always will be, gin. A martini with vodka is properly a vodka martini.
- Buy rounds for your friends.
- A gentleman listens and remembers details.
- Do not pull out chairs. Do open doors – if you get there first (don’t rush). Do light a lady’s cigarette.
- ‘Tis better to compliment a person’s taste than their body. “I love your skirt” is preferable to “I love your legs!”
- Carry your cigarettes in a case. If you smoke regularly, buy a refillable lighter (something understated – no designs) or be handy with a match.
- Always end the evening with wine – never liquor or beer.
- Purchase a condom wallet (for safety and sophistication).
- Always offer breakfast the next morning.
Tags: cigarette case, cigarettes, Cocktail, compliments, condom wallet, etiquette, lighter, men's etiquette
November 26, 2008 at 9:17 pm |
This is perfect. Dispense with all the chivalry bullshit and make condom wallets so important they require their own blog tag.
I will be sure to show this to my boyfriend, his cigarette case, and his understated refillable lighter.
And with that, I’m afraid I must be off to look up what the fuck a digestif is. Cheers!
December 3, 2008 at 8:46 am |
Verily, this is an overdue prescription for masculine comportment. Huzzah!!!
December 6, 2008 at 11:46 am |
But where can you buy a condom wallet?
December 7, 2008 at 5:50 am |
…and of course, a gentleman never lets a lady’s glass sit empty for long (this one is particularly appreciated by those of us with a fondness for the drink)
December 7, 2008 at 7:06 pm |
GIN MARTINI. Ahem. Thank you for that. And for #4. However, why have 2 cocktails? I usually just order what I’m feelin that night. And if I dont know the bar I get straight booze so I know I can see if it’s watered down, and be sure they’re not cheatin’ with the mixers. Maybe that’s cheap of me, but it’s how I roll.
and if I drink wine after beer or liquor I’m likely to hurl, maybe dudes dont have that same problem, but it’s weird if you’re boozin it up with a guy and for his last drink he orders wine…so I’m going to disagree with you on that one.
What is a condom wallet? It sounds pretentious and a little gay. Do fancy pants designers make them? can you show me?
and I’m all for someone complimenting my legs, under the proper conditions (I’m wearing a short skirt and we’re in the cab on the way back to your place…)
December 7, 2008 at 7:36 pm |
Condom wallets @ condomania.com. Bless them.
Cherry: Regarding compliments – you’ve given me pause. Perhaps different rules apply while in a cab? I’ll have to do some research…
December 8, 2008 at 6:46 am |
Regarding cabs, I think cabs are an extension of “back at your/my/our place,” a location for which there is a somewhat different set of rules. It’s entirely gentlemanly to compliment someone’s legs (etc) back at your/my/our place.
though I think I should point out that a gentleman tips the cab driver in ratio to the level of shenanigans that have gone on in the cab.
December 8, 2008 at 11:21 am |
Cherry, I appreciate your consumer skepticism. There are a lot of ’specialized’, overpriced products out there.
Condom wallets, however, are awesome. They are pretentious and gay in the same way that nice clothes are pretentious and gay – or, more directly, the way that *not* impregnating someone every time you have sex is pretentious and also gay.
As some/many people know, if you keep a condom in your regular wallet, it can melt and become useless. The classy and totally useful condom wallet is designed to prevent your night/life/nightlife from getting ruined by your otherwise innocuous ass heat.
You can get your condom wallets from fancy-pants designers, if that’s your thing, but the Condomania stuff works for us.
December 8, 2008 at 2:02 pm |
suzyrack, my ridiculous crush on you has reached epic proportions. be advised.
December 9, 2008 at 7:21 am |
Upon private discussion with Hemmingwaygarters (in a bar in the early morning surrounded by half naked ladies) the reasons behind #1 were discussed. However, we determined that it is perhaps more appropriate to have a few signature cocktails for different occasions/types of bar: dive, neighborhood haunt, fancy place where bartenders are called mixologists. Whether the the beverages ought to be dark or light… I think it’s a matter of one’s general preferences and mood for the eve. And the same rules apply: classy, simple and strong, and one should know how it is prepared. And it is never, ever prepared with gatorade (see “classy.”)
Additionally, I’ve been told that people who drink darker liquor are wild and/or crazy. As a bourbon girl…I’ll take it.
I still can’t imagine ending a cocktail or beer themed evening with wine. I’m all for a digestif but my system does not like it when I change gears like that. On the other hand, if we’re talking “why dont you come back to my place for some ,” I probably wont turn you down. Especially if you compliment my legs.
December 18, 2008 at 3:00 am |
While I don’t have a problem with most of what is stated above, I don’t know why any of that is particularly new, sounds like pretty standard gentlemanly behavior, and kind of minimum standard, I would think. As far as cigarettes, I’m a non-smoker, so I won’t be carrying any cigarettes, or any way to light a cigarette, either. I’d rather my dates don’t smoke, so that’s just an easy elimination factor. I don’t care if friends smoke, but we’ll just be remaining friends if they do. Hopefully they don’t blow smoke in my face.
December 18, 2008 at 3:01 am |
For Paul. Condom wallets are available at Babeland.
December 18, 2008 at 3:05 am |
I would think it would be better to not put your condom wallet in your back pocket. It should be kept in your front pocket, or perhaps even a jacket pocket would be a better choice. Condoms degrade rather quickly if you sit on them. Probably better to look at them and change them regularly, if they happen to go unused for a significant length of time.
December 18, 2008 at 3:54 am |
I suppose I should have put this all into one coherent response… About light and dark drinks. Often it depends on season for me. I like lighter drinks in the summer, especially if they seem more refreshing, mojito, or perhaps even a gin and tonic. Winter? Something dark feel more appropriate, darker seems like a warmer drink. I like Manhattans, very little to no cherry juice, don’t like them sweet.